How do you view relationships in your life?

When someone I used to count as friend all of a sudden let me down in an area I never would have predicted, I really started thinking of friendships and relationships and how we regard them and how we treat them.
Sometimes telling someone "the truth" when they ask you for it may mean they turn away, cause the truth was not the the version they wanted you to feed them. If you're brave enough to stand honest, you simply must calculate that that could be an effect.
I've come to a part of my life where I calcuate it and also cherish that from others: if I ask for the true opinion, I want it regardless. It may hurt but not nearly as much as lying to yourself will hurt you, at the end of the day.

My life has virually taught me "no pain, no gain" and going through hard times, doing wrong and also being a leader has forced me to face myself and looking very deep in to that mirror at all the flaws and fears that I have. I have looked at them (still do), taken them out, turned them over, tasted them, accepted the ones I must and changed a few that were unacceptable and put the entire pack back.
I face myself daily and scrutinize myself and question my doings and even more my "feeling:s" and I think that I may therefore also take for granted that others do so too.
I sometimes forget that others may not have come that far yet, they have a few quarters left before they reach that square.
I have a lot of quarters left too, of course, and the map never ends.

I always ask my heart what is right and true, nowadays, before every decision and I care not what others advice and say, if that's in opposition of what my heart says. For many years my fear would pose as my heart, misguiding me, and back then I could not listen to my heart, because it was my fear talking. These days I see my fear when it shows up and I put my trust in my heart when I ask for guidance and now - at the age of 42 - it works, so it's a solid process in which I'm secure and at peace.

No pain, no gain = a whole lot of pain, a whole lot of gain!
:-)

******

So, The Boy had his b-day party a bit delayed, together with a friend. 

Going there, through fall landscape, was spectacular!

We're there!!

Very up-tempo:ed place...!

Gifts - that's all good!

A lively group.

Cheerful times!

:-) <3

Autumn mornings look like this, only totally dark outside nowadays.

October, for ya'!

Those colours!!!

Loving looking at birds, just as his mama!

Special times of calmer days and glorious colouring.

Lovely times.

Cosiness comes knocking - and we're all fired up for it :-)

******

I'm very proud of the relationship I have built together with my husband, because we're both committed. Not just in the sense of "being married, being in a committed relationship", I mean committed in the sense where both of us not only just look at ourselves in the mirror - we look at each other too. 

We admit to our failures and each other's failures, we talk about them and we decide to stick around, to go forward together with force and trust and goals forward. With enthusiasm even, since the pain-gain can lead you anywhere really! 

We keep letting the old relationship die, so that a new one can be born. I'd say we're brave and active in our relationship and we care for deep down real about each other's life. There's no plan B, since we are not going to be distracted from plan A, which is a relationship that's for life.

I'm ready for the new week. I hope you are too!

/A

New tradition: check!!

The "Marten Goose" celebration is over (ie Mårten Gås!) and hence a new tradition is started!
We had eight weekend guests: three came to us Friday and the rest arrived Saturday. I had taken a day off to clean and cook but would have needed at least two.
Just make dinner probably took about ten hours and cleaning about ten too.

However intense, the time with the guests was great. Heart warming, fun and invigorating :-)

Still beautiful autumn here.

The most exciting plant to look forward to the upcoming spring is the "new" Magnolia.

Can't wait for it to bloom (hopefully)!

Little darlings keep blooming - I just can not believe my eyes! Hey guys, it's almost winter now...

Nothin' but love for ya' <3

Halloween is over. It really marks fall here and paves the way for winter. 

But not just yet.

Our beloved friends came Friday and The Boy's beloved friend. Good-great times :-D

The Mårten Gås-tradition is very old in our country and especially in the south, where we live! It is an evening for "black soup" (goose blood soup), goose and potatoes and gravy and then Scania apple pie (since apples are all over, this time of year and people can't eat them fast enough).

Little did we know that cooking goose - mainly preparing it - took hours and hours and hours!!!! We were faaaaaar from ready when the guests came. Far from it and sweaty.
At midnight I took the apron off. But not until then.
Crazy times!!
Next year I'll have two days off before the guests arrive and will make both soup and apple pie the weekend before.
Lesson learned, hence.

Yeah, the master-geese-chef - that's me!

Stuffing that in itself took quite a while to make...

I was still able to step outside and pick my own herbs in the garden. Quite lovely!

Hectic times! The Boy caught us with the camera.

The calm after the storm. Sunday and the friends take their iPads to the staircase 

(anything to keep parents' hands off...!).

The Boy made decorations at school <3

We take one step at the time toward winter.

Even if I was crazed during the weekend with the cleaning, guests and all - and tired like I don't know what after - I feel a special kind of harmony inside. I feel love and thankfulness and I feel at peace with everything in my life. It's a good life, it's good days for me.

Sunday wasn't only the day of departure for our friends, it was also Father's Day and our 12:th wedding anniversary. Of course resting was the only thing on the agenda but it all takes place inside me and I rejoice about it silently and tenderly.

Life around the age of 41 is.... good.

Have a fantastic rest of the week!

Nothing but love <3

... some more Instagrams for ya'!!!

Writing this, I must admit, it is Sunday. The week ahead is hectic, to say the least, since my every evening is booked and then we'll have weekend guests - nine of them - with a huge "Martin Goose"-dinner Saturday evening.
We're starting a new tradition with our dear, wonderful crew from our old hometown <3
We celebrate New Year's with them, Midsummer and now Martin Goose.
Good to have traditions and good to have such good friends coming all the way here.

Car commuting again - the luxury!

The sun through a dirty train window.

Did you see that huge moon that appeared this passed week? Wow!

I snuck off with the hubster for a quick coffee and chat last week.

Here we are, seen mirrored in a lamp!

It's impossible to contain oneself when days off are ahead!

This is me late, at work - charged :-)

First things first: The Boy needed a hair cut...!

Award after and a moment to treasure :-) <3

Like a mini vaca!!!!

Library time!

Days in our lives ;-)

Rainy and dark, are the times now.

But then there are light and sunny times too, like Saturday morning!

Tuesdays still mean Tuesday Snuggle <3

The city where I work. Looks good at night/autumn.

Autumn has its moments, for sure :-)

Daddy-love!!

It's almost unbelievable that it is the month of November already. I think August was just here and I can't believe September AND October has come and gone. I can't figure it out: where time flies.
The fact that I still wore summer clothes when folks here started wearing winter jackets, says a lot I guess but it's true: I'm not up to speed this year.
So when Christmas comes knocking, I won't know what hit me, I suppose!

Love it at the gym!

And The Boy absolutely loves his soccer-cups and the awards...!

The darker six months are for me the feel-think-times of year.

Not so many things to catch the eye, more time indoors and more baths.

Things come to me most often during October-March.

Saturday was the day of the dead in our country. 

We visited two graveyards where relatives of mine lie.

We put candles both at my grandparents' and my grandfather's parents' graves.

Moments for remembering, moments for feeling.

What if I could meet with them now? What if we were adults at the same time?

What would they say if they knew we live in their very town nowadays?!!

They don't know.

Some individuals in this family cherishes a box of chocolates.

Seemed suitable at a somewhat sad grave-evening.

Some adores chocolates out of boxes....

There you have it: our autumn in a nutshell. Now there's cooking and cleaning and cleaning and cooking for me. May the festivities begin! Soon!!  PLEASE!!!!!!!