Purpose

I'm impatient and very here-and-now as a person. I can't wait to do stuff and I love doing stuff when I feel like it, and that is usually "now"!
Lately, as long time followers here may have noticed, my pace has changed a little bit and my thoughts got extended room and the photos and cheers got a little less.

I have started to think longer on things and deeper. I have started to view different areas of my life - past and present - through new goggles! I dig things out, look at them, turn them around and look again. And again.
Then I write and then I write some more. I truly enjoy it and finally it has become a true hobby, this blog, not just a necessity to find strength to make it through the week, as it once started out.

I know I'm a pain talking about my role models a lot but thanks to some of them I have been able (pointed out to) start this soul searching.
Also, I have noticed I have a certain way of living and regarding things that maybe some people don't or haven't found their way in to, yet.
I actually get questions as to how I can be so happy all the time or how I can stand tall during struggles that other would escape from, rather than enduring.

To me it has always been a given, like there's no other choice. I can't imagine giving things up because it's hard but when different friends have said "everything doesn't have to be a struggle all the time, you know" or "I wouldn't take this, I would quit" and I disagree, I really feel I'm different from them in that way.
I have no clue if I was born this way or if my life shaped me in this direction, I just think it's a given and I think that at the end of the day and at the end of my life I must know I did everything and that does not include giving up.
That is how I respect myself and grow to depend on me. I also find that other people depend on me in areas and ways that aren't necessarily tangible but basic. It's a foundation that certain things arise from and it's not obvious but it is necessary.

I also know that my husband is the same way and that is why we don't shy away from living on one salary only, when life throws us that task or braving the unknown. That may also be why we don't question our being together: it's a given and it's a fair struggle with a tremendous award at the end of each and every day!

Then the issue of "purpose" arose.
I started thinking of what the purpose really is, for me. I use words as struggle and hardships and awards. Yes, many parts of my life have been different struggles because they had to be, there was no giving up, or people would get permanently damaged. Why did I fight the fights, why do I take on each day, each new challenge?
How come I don't sit back and enjoy the ride? I could do that now.

I'm far from sure about the answer, I just started thinking about this.
I know I want to "change the world", I've kind of always known that and I've always taken the giggles that unavoidably follows my saying it.
I know I can change something, somewhere, for someone.

In my professional life I always strive for bettering the society in which I'm working and getting into the business of locally and actively doing so daily, of course is a certain way of doing just that. That's "the why" I choose the profession I do keep choosing.
As a private person I have now finally come to a point where I like to contribute in my spare time also. I blog to entertain, inspire and raise questions. The upcoming project I have with my oldest son is a new certain step towards making my voice heard in really important and burning issues. The fact that I'll be criticized and scrutinized doesn't scare me away any longer and my vision has a clear focus on where I would like to be of assistance.
That is some part of an answer to the "purpose"-question.

(the "how" is the thrilling part! "how" will I form the voice, "how" will I write, "how" will people respond?)

Here are finally the shots from "The Farmers' Market" down by the monastery. A good day! 

Tasty goodies...

Being all mischievous!

A day to enjoy, for sure.

I will remember it forever.

The beautiful rose garden.

"Are you kidding, is it actually possible to drink here?"

??

"Should I?!"

"I might!..."

"Well..."

Yay!

It was possible and plenty!

Love!

Water fight with neighbours!

Plenty of water was needed...!

Anticipating and probably feeling some butterflies...!

Even before all the good news and great happenings of the vaca, I was this happy just being on vaca!

Feeling looooove.

Getting all wet from water fighting.

Having fun, being so!!

This is good, summer evenings!

Very good indeed..!

Today is Saturday and it is the great good day of an eighth birthday for a certain boy!

We'll have a great day, hence. Hope you will too!

When girlfriends get together....

The other day I had a much longed for After Work with a girlfriend, one of the two women I count as friends, here in the south where we live since three years.
I found the girlfriend thing intriguing since we moved, when I got the opportunity to make brand new friends and start over like I was in pre school or something like that..! I didn't "have to" just continue booking dates with the ones I always see but I had to approach the ones I found interesting and kind and actively start building.

Having grown different ways from other friends, back where we used to live, the time really had come for new friends, friends who share my values and who are interested in getting to know ME, the me that I am now. Not the ME I was as a single mom or a student or a librarian - or what have you - but the me I am right now.
So I made two friends (some are bubbling out there in the outer parts of my mind: may become, may not) who I really care for and like. I like to inhale them and exhale to them, if you catch my drift?
I love being able to be myself and speak my mind.

Working as a leader keeps you on your toes all day long concering what to say, when to say it and what not to say. Not to mention how to say it...!

I thought about this during our After Work - how we would swing between the topics, my friend and I. She'd start talking about her upcoming trip to Florida (yeah, envy that!!) and all their plans and bookings. We'd then laugh at the fact that we are very different in that perspective: she plans and books, I go al fresco or something - simply can't stand planning and booking... And we already know each other that well!
Then I might swing to mentioning my two Florida trips that I made in my life and at the same time touch some harder topics maybe, like how it was back then with my parents and my father calling me fat and private stuff like that.
With her I feel I can and more to the point: I feel she cares.

Then we'll talk of my app that I put my exercise into and of my exercise and she'll tell me about her diet and her exercise.

We swing like that!

I remember when my husband was out of a job and just at home, feeling a bit blue, I found that this woman was the only person around me that I could open up to about this. To everyone else I said that "he'll come around, he'll start engaging in politics now" (which he did) or "it'll work out, he can always go back to school" (which he did).
When she and I went to After Work I could also add: "I don't know how to be with him, I don't quite know how to answer him when he fears he's too old for the work market any longer" or "it's hard being the breadwinner of the family, I don't know how to light his spark and he seems ashamed of it all". I mean, my husband is my best friend and there's truly nothing we can't talk about but these particular topics I needed to vent and I needed to get someone else's point of view.
I was so thankful for this friend at this time, because she listened and she gave sincere advice.
And then we could talk fashion, interior decorating and have another glass of wine!

That's what friends are for, right?!


******


Well, now our visiting friends have gone back home and we had a very fun week together!
I didn't fetch my camera once and I think that's because I talked, laughed, ate and drank or went to the car or taxi - or what have you - all the time and never even thought about it?!!

Here are some pics from the one day we had in Copenhagen and then the other activities' pics will come right up in another post.

Disorderly and all, here goes:

Marcus and I enjoying and celebrating, since celebrations were in order...! :-)

Mandatory: The Lego Store! Especially since there's an eighth birthday coming up...

Nyhavn. Like really being abroad!

My dinner. Salmon is my new pet love...!!

Straight out of a text message to a handbag-loving

girlfriend... (one of the bubblers!). Yes, the celebrations were 

regarding a new period in life finally showing, that 

means our budget will be less tight soon again! 

(= I bought a handbag and wallet!!)

Like walking New York-streets almost.

Copenhagen in July is every bit as busy as NY, I'd say!

Resting by the canal. The Boy enjoys his lemonade

just before Marcus waved it right into the canal...!

Vaca!!!!

Marcus and I found the "Profiteroles" a funny name

and decided they were "Profit Roles" and therefore

a necessity :-) We ordered one each....

Yeah, still celebrating...

Cherished friends <3

Profit roles.

Yes, very rich but good!

He felt so stylish walking around in my firstborn's old school bag 

and the school bag The Boy has also used :-)

What a magical evening! The same mode as in Venice almost.

He was happy and tired, getting home from the dog hotel.

Now you're up to date!

Let me whisper this: I'm excited, pleased and happy that this fall means new times. That's all I can say today.

Be good, take care of yourself and your loved ones!

See you soon <3