Thursday, June 6, 2013

The meaning of experience

Some time ago I had a conversation with a friend who also work as a leader in another organization. We usually have interesting conversations but this time it was even more so.
We got to talking about how we were as children, how adults responded to that back then and what we became. We also talked of how experiences as a child forms you and affects you.

She had been loud and very visible as a child and I was very shy and low profiled. She got to hear that she "was too much" and I, of course, got to hear that I needed to talk more and louder and not be so quiet. We realized that we both got the message: we needed to change in order to be successful in life.

Needless to say, kids don't just change and adapt to what the adults around them tell them to become, it doesn't happen like that. So both of us stepped out into the world knowing that the way we were wasn't "it" and wouldn't be good.
Neither one of us had a perfect shiny childhood either (which may be why we had our different "not good" behaviors?) so we both took the baggage and entered the big, wide world.

Funnily enough we both longed for fatherly appreciation, due to lack of it at home, and I'm sure we searched for it in different places and many wrong places. I know I did.

I took an anything but amusing walk through the valley of the shadow of death and luckily made it out alive.
My friend did too.

During our talk we realized that that very experience changed us and made us realize we could live through anything and come out alive. That is being strong and allowing to be brave. You compare things that happento you later in life, to that "shadow of death-experience" and you know "this is nothing". We both lean on that. I wonder if we both have an edge somewhere in our personalities, due to it?

Both of us has also found out that the way we are, is OK!
We're successful in what we do, both of us. We work as leaders, we have totally different leader styles but we're good at our jobs.
I guess those adults were proven wrong?

We should be careful what messages we send to children around us.

My friend and I talked about how we'd be without those experiences. We can't even guess, it's impossible to know. The thought is challenging and intriguing.
It's close at hand thinking that if only I had had a carefree upbringing and youth, I would be even further ahead in different areas of my life but who knows? Maybe I'd be too scared or too weak instead?

Barack Obama said of his time as a brand new president that we all have to play the cards we're dealt in life. How true!
The exciting part is that we all have a story to tell, every single one of us. I love getting to hear the story of a stranger or a new friend, it's better than any novel.

The Magnolia bud will hopefully burst into a flower soon...

And some IG:s for you:

.... no! New computer, so this will have to transform into a teaser!! Next post will hold that selection of IG-pics ;-)

Today is Sweden's National Day and I had a great one with The Boy and The Dog. Hubs studied...

Weekend coming right up. Have a fab one y'all!
Nothing but love for you.

1 comment:

  1. Hello! I finally made it over to your blog! So sorry it took so long...I have a lot to catch up on :)
    Very interesting post and topic. Once you've hit the bottom and darkest place you ever can (and I believe I have...and never want to go back!), it certainly makes you appreciate what you have...and makes you appreciate how much we can withstand as humans.
    I like what Pres Obama says and agree that all we can do is play the cards we're dealt in life.

    Love the photo of the weber bbq in the flowers! Hope you're getting to use it lots now the snow has gone :)