My Secret Rooms...: To feel at home

Three years ago we moved from the second largest city in our country to a small coastal town down south. The city I work in is the third largest city and my trip to work takes two hours and then two more hours back, in the evening.
Leaving my firstborn, when moving, was a shock and a trauma that I didn't fully comprehend - and still don't - during the period of the move.

Yet, when folks ask me if I miss the previous city, a city many people think is a beautiful and cosy one, I'm always sincerely surprised because I don't miss a thing.

Apart from my son, who I not only miss daily but hourly.

Every time I answer people that I don't miss it at all, they look surprised. When people from that very city ask me and I answer, they look down right upset and very wondering! How can I say that I don't miss that place?
I've been dwelling on it, thinking that that city really isn't "all that". Sure the harbour is nice, the statue that defines the city's main street is.... nice. The seafood is good and the archipelago is enjoyable for those who sail. The sum has been that I have had no idea how come I have no feelings for a city I moved to as a teenager and have lived in for approximately 25 years (lived in or outside).

These last couple of weeks it has dawned on me, however.
:-)

The ESC-experience was a blast, which I have written about here earlier. My husband, son and I were all warm in heart the entire day and the weeks leading up to it. We looked forward to it and when the day finally came, we were charged, baby!
When we went to the arena for the very first time here in our new city, there were not only the ESC-butterflies all over the place showing the way to ESC, my tummy was also full of butterflies!!
Pure happiness and a day that will stay deep down in my heart for as long as I live.
So?

So, every day I pass the arena and its train station, when I commute, and every time I pass it I smile! Sometimes I put our country's contribution song on in my headphones and just remember the whole thing. I have a first very happy memory of the big city that's my new city! There's now a part of town where I smile every time I pass, because it brings happiness to my mind remembering and feeling.
In the same way there's hardly a street in our old town that doesn't hold a bad memory for me.
The abusive relationship I was in for almost two years took place there and so much fear and anguish goes hand in hand with the statue, the harbor and the arena there.
It is now a chapter of my life that is closed or passed. I dig from it in my writing, when I need to remember horror.
Of course I don't miss that place. No wonder.

But you don't tell people that!
Nowadays I tell people, simply, that I miss my son, the amusement park and the good Mojitos at Avalon Hotel. For that is true.

I now look forward to making a whole bunch of new and good memories of this new city of my life! Our nearest country has its capitol only twenty minutes from our city, so I'll get to make good memories there, too!
The town we live in is easy to love and feel good about, so that grows a little bit every week.

Moving is a big thing, a big change. It is challenging and exciting and can also be scary and insecure.
Three years in, I start to feel as I settle a tiny bit. I have a few good friends, I feel I have friendships that is enough even if I'm sure I'll have a few more for each year.
Commuting four hours every day means there's little time for friends anyway.

In our country it's not as common moving and settling in a brand new place. I know they do it a whole lot more in the USA. I have many friends left in our old city who would never dream of moving and leaving that place. I think it's good for you to challenge yourself with a new start, with having to apply yourself to making new friends. It\s also exciting for the kind of friendship that marriage is, to get to discover new places, finding new gems to love and visit over and over again.
Moving keeps you on your toes and I think that enriches your life!

There it is: life.
We're right in the middle of it and at this point in my life when I've learned quite a lot, I have more questions than answers. I'm more in awe over the small things and I value true friends more than ever. Even if they live far away or on the other side of the planet and speak a really cure accent, which I love :-)
Life is good. Challenging but good.